Yesterday at dinner, I was asked, Are you jealous? You might think that I said something that might seem like it, but the question arose because it's surprising that someone isn't. After spending a few seconds thinking about the ideal way to respond, I decided to tell the truth that, in fact, no, I'm not.
There are better ways to show annoyance or discomfort than scenes of jealousy, and it is for this reason I advise you to put them aside and act in a more intelligent way and with full use of human faculties such as reason.
Since I consider myself a confident woman and I like my life in every way, then I stopped being jealous and sentimental, and thanks to this, I have managed to avoid moments of anguish caused by jealousy and also advise my friends not to fight and better manage certain emotions in your favor and benefit. I want to post this as if you were close to me.
Possibly every woman who likes someone, who has had a love relationship, or at least romantic intentions, will have felt jealousy. Essentially the reason is fear, which arises from insecurity, low self-esteem, fear of not being respected, or losing him (as if someone were something we have). We all feel jealous for different reasons, and of course, some women will be more jealous than others, but I will refer to quite everyday situations.
Let's first talk about trust. Did he give you reasons not to trust? Has he lacked loyalty or fidelity? If the answer is yes, and honestly you don't feel that you will be able to forgive him soon, then you leave him and move on without him, which is also not essential, less if he acted in a cruel or hurtful way without caring about your feelings. It is not worth continuing to be angry, and you will be miserable in a relationship that does not bring you peace. On the other hand, if you consider what happened insignificant compared to his virtues, his treatment of you, and his company, you should forgive and leave what happened behind. Honestly, believe it was a mistake, that you wouldn't do it again, and never talk about it again.
Now, for most of us, who have not yet experienced one of these situations of explicit disrespect, cheating, or reasons, and we still feel jealous about his friends, the attention he receives from other women, seeing him consumed on his cell phone or the times he "likes" others on social networks, everything has an explanation, it's OK, you're not crazy. It would be best if you didn't accept anything that didn't satisfy you. Let me explain.
We feel jealous when we think we lack something, and when we see that others have what "we lack" (we do not lack anything, it is just our perception), our ego suffers. It breaks, it breaks. Comparing yourself is a big mistake, and we tend to compare the best in someone with the worst in us.
At that moment, I invite you to remember that nobody is perfect and to think about your qualities. No one has all your virtues. Perhaps the girl that makes you jealous is more physically attractive, but is she patient like you? Is she intelligent like you? Does she have a big heart like yours? Does she cook like you? does he respect you?
Knowledge is always power, and perhaps stopping being alone and sabotaging yourself would allow you to see that many attractive women still have boyfriends who are unfaithful to them and bosses who touch their leg (and that doesn't bother them, they think it's normal), or perhaps homes that they're falling apart, they're not clever, and they couldn't give a lecture on the environment or human rights. Maybe the woman who makes you jealous seems too intelligent but does not have your sympathy and naturalness. Perhaps she is a brain but does not have your light.
Many women who make you jealous would not cause you anything if you knew them.
Either way, the solution is on you. Improve in every way you want or can, in every area of your life. Increase your confidence by learning new skills, acquiring knowledge, learn about science, art, mathematics, culture, and languages. Improve your appearance, start exercising or liposuction if that would make you happy and satisfied, and work on your shyness or tone of voice. Getting better doesn't mean you don't love yourself; quite the opposite.
You have the right to be uncomfortable with some attitudes and actions; your feelings are acceptable and it's completely normal no matter what they are. You can question your boyfriend's behavior without implying that you're dissatisfied with yourself (with pleasure). Trying to calm the irritation that grows within you when you feel disrespected is unnecessary. If you start your relationship, you demand respect in small things, it will be easy to express what you do not agree with, it will not bother you, but even feel embarrassed and don't do it anymore.
Talking badly about other women doesn't make them look ugly, but it lets others know about your insecurity. Become a woman who can admire the beauty and intelligence of other women without feeling less beautiful or intelligent. You can do this and, at the same time, maintain your standards of respect.
A good man who values you and loves you, who is happy by your side, laughs, and admires you, will want to continue having you by his side, and to achieve this, he will show you respect without you having to ask him for it every day, especially if he knows that you have an excellent concept of yourself and that if they don't give you respect, no matter who it is, you're going to get up and leave, without drama, crying, or remorse.
If, for example, your boyfriend "likes" provocative photos as if he were in an "all you can eat" without having to stop at some point, you should know that it is not normal and that your annoyance does not make you a woman insecure or excessively jealous. That's disrespectful, and I'm going to give you reasons.
When your boyfriend follows a girl on Instagram, for example, he creates a relationship, even if it is one-sided. Some men don't understand why some women get upset about this, saying, "just because I'm in a relationship doesn't mean I'm dead," but surprise, for that matter, neither are you.
In general, women receive attention. Men give it, whether paying for things, opening doors, or protecting. Men derive sexual pleasure from looking at scantily clad women, and when they "like" these posts, they publicly say, "I like this. Keep doing it." Why aren't we allowed to get upset about this? What if she responds, I repeat emphatically, it's public, for God's sake. Why would you like something publicly and risk your girlfriend seeing it and what she can feel? The ego and the lack of empathy are doing their thing.
I use Instagram to follow my friends and accounts that I like or admire. My social networks would never be a problem for my boyfriend. I would expect the same thing 100% of the time, and I clarify that posting photos is fine. You are not doing anything wrong. We all know that when a guy with a girlfriend likes our pictures of that guy, we feel a little bad for the girlfriend.
Having needs and wants doesn't make you needy or crazy. The lines need to be clear, and if you'd rather not be in a relationship with someone, you find the need to blur those lines is something to applaud, and your right.
Remember what makes you unique. Become a woman who is proud of herself, and go from feeling lucky to be with him to considering him lucky to be with someone like you.
The best way to receive respect is to be respectful because the example drags. If you respect your partner and yourself, you will only allow yourself with a respectful man. Don't see things happen as if they don't make you feel anything. If something bothers you, don't allow it.
Little by little. I advise silence before expressing ideas in disorder and in a wrong way and showing that you care a lot. Already calm, without crying, without getting angry, without fighting (fighting will never give you victory), you will be able to communicate what you felt and why that does not seem like a civil action. Without this meaning a wrong time for both of you, you can find a way to make him understand that there are actions that do not go within a bond based on respect. An excellent way to do it is to see that another is acting like him. Use an example something like this:
Your boyfriend likes compromising photos, but you see that the boyfriend of another friend of yours does it too, so you say, «Sofia's boyfriend is following and liking the provocative photos of so many girls? Can you believe it? How disrespectful to his girlfriend! Poor thing. Luckily you don't embarrass me or make me uncomfortable like that", and you give him a tender kiss.
If your boyfriend repeatedly sees a woman next to you, tell him: She's beautiful, right? Without sarcasm, you are just trying to put him in evidence. And you keep talking about something else. It's OK to admire attractive women, even if we do it, but if it's constant, then it's disrespecting your presence, and therefore, it doesn't deserve it. You didn't spend two hours getting ready for him to be looking at the girl at the following table or even on his cell phone the whole time.
In all those awkward moments, I advise not to act upset but to stay calm and then take action. Starting a fight is unwise and has a different outcome than what you might be expecting. After fighting with your boyfriend, he will forget everything he promised you at that time, and he will not change, and you will be elated and sad. Better not.
While improving self-esteem, and even if we have already achieved it, we are still human beings, we are willing to feel things that will not necessarily make us good or happy, and it is essential to communicate that with sincerity.
My conclusion is that you do not behave jealously, do not consider yourself a jealous woman, keep a cool head and a clear concept of yourself so that the virtues of a beautiful and good woman do not make you feel inferior, so that your security increases, to convey confidence and not fear. Declaring yourself jealous speaks ill of how you look in the mirror and speaks ill of your relationships with others. Order what you feel and find what caused you so much stress, then think about your strengths, which I am sure are countless.
Leave a Reply